Feminini-Tea

I recently went to a tea party.  It was a house party selling all sorts of gourmet loose leaf teas and accessories.  One of the teas available for purchase was a tea called “Feminini-Tea.”  The consultant explained that this tea was great for women going through menopause and/or experiencing extreme PMS symptoms as it helps to regulate and stabilize your hormones.  My ears immediately perked up.  I love tea and man, could my hormones ever use a tune-up!  Where do I sign?  I don’t know much about menopause (yet) but I can tell you that PMS has nothing on what back-to-back pregnancies can do to you your hormonal balance.  It’s amazing that I can even walk in a straight line my hormones are so off-balance. (Bad joke!)

So obviously, I immediately want to know if this tea can be purchased by the vat rather than in the advertised 50g or 100g bags because I need to drink it, smoke it, eat it and bathe in it and I’m going to need a LOT of it if I’m going to accomplish these things.  I settle for a 50g bag to try it out.

When I get home from the tea party, Hubby asks me what I bought.  I tell him about the Feminini-Tea.  His face lights up and he says “You bought it, right?”  I’m pretty sure he would be willing to invest everything we have into a company that makes something that can help with my rollercoaster of emotions that he ends up riding with no seatbelt whether he wants to or not.  I tell him that I did and he anxiously asks “So how long until you get it?”  A week or two.  You don’t have to be this excited about it.  I’m not going to take a sip and instantly have a better grip on life.  Or am I?  If I do, that’s great but I’m not getting my hopes up.

My tea order arrives.  Hubby sees the bag of loose leaf teas on the kitchen table and excitedly asks if I have tried the “hormone tea” yet.  A) Don’t call it hormone tea.  and B) No, I haven’t but I will.

So I steep some Feminini-Tea.  It smells delicious.  It has apple pieces, cinnamon, raspberry leaves, ginger, orange peel and all sorts of other goodies in it.  I’m not one for fruity teas but I try it.  It’s okay.  It’s not my favourite tea but that’s not surprising since it is exceptionally fruity.  I may have steeped it too long.  I steep another cup and it’s better.  If it’s going to help, I will drink it but it’s definitely not my favourite tea and wouldn’t be my choice if I was to decide to just sit down and have a cup of tea.  (And by “sit down and have a cup of tea,” I mean steep a cup of tea, keep it on the other side of the baby gate so no one gets burned and then drink it on the run anytime I end up near the baby gate and remember that it is there.)

My sister told me to try it chilled because chilling it will subdue some of the fruitful flavour.  I must admit, I like my feminini-tea chilled more than I like it hot but it’s still missing something.  It’s pretty good but I don’t feel any more balanced or in control yet.  I wonder how much of it you have to drink for it to work.

I know what will help.  Vodka.  Vodka will help this tea out.  It’s already nice and cold.  A splash of vodka over ice should do the trick.

Chilled femini-tea with a splash of vodka is not only delicious but also leaves you feeling more relaxed, balanced and in control.  With the help of vodka, this tea totally works and works fast.  After a couple sips, you worry less, stress less, and are definitely able to chill more without worrying about the wide array of emotions and stresses you are usually battling.  Femini-Tea.  I give this tea 5 stars.  Of course, adding vodka is not necessary to achieve these results.  I’m sure adding gin or even rum would work just as well.  I highly recommend it to anyone who has just had a baby or two.  It definitely helps you feel better.  This Dr. Mom gives it 2 thumbs up!  Check it out!  (Just don’t check it out while pregnant or breastfeeding!)

I think the moral to this story is that your hormones and your body just need time to adjust to postpartum life.  Sure, there might be things that will help and ease some of the “crazy” along the way but time and laughter are still the best medicines.

andbabymakes3imean4 is a collection of one mom’s thoughts and adventures while tap-dancing on the brink of insanity with 2 babies, 11 months apart.  If you liked this post, be sure to click “Subscribe” to be the first to know about future posts!  Thanks for reading! xo

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