Running Errands: In Case You’re Looking for Me Today, I’m the One…

In case you are looking for me today…

I’m the one:

  • tossing random crap out of the backseat of my car and into the driveway with one hand because when I opened the door with diaper bag, purse and baby in my arms, I discovered that my hubby had decided to use our son’s car seat to hold all of the crap he picked up a few days ago and then forgot about.  Surprise!
  • spreading hand sanitizer on to a baby wipe and wiping down a shopping cart like a crazy person because I’m fresh out of Lysol wipes and need to kill the cart germs before my kids touch and lick it
  • with mud all over my crotch and down my left leg because my 23 month old daughter kicked and screamed while wearing muddy rain boots because she didn’t want to sit in the shopping cart
  • buying a massively huge bag of Veggie Straws that I know will be crushed when I open it because both kids pulled at it and fought over it as soon as I put it in the cart
  • buying a bag of apples that will likely be bruised by tomorrow because my toddler reached them in the back of the cart and threw them on the ground just for fun
  • picking up every card in my wallet off of the store floor because I forgot to zip my purse closed after showing my Costco membership card so my son dumped it
  • ripping a pierogie apart with my bare hands like an animal while both of my kids scream and reach for it because they were offering full-sized pierogies as samples today and there was no cutlery for cutting it bite-sized to share
  • who can’t figure out how to spell pierogie in a way that Spell Check approves
  • who is contemplating carrying a knife next time for easy sample cutting
  • buying an avocado with a bite out of it…through the mesh bag
  • balancing a carton of eggs on the stuff at the back of my cart because it’s much safer there than in my kids’ reach
  • pretending that foul smell isn’t coming from one of my kids because there is no way I’m tackling two babies and a poopy diaper in a public washroom.  Nuh-uh.
  • buying a coleslaw that I know is dripping through its cracked container and have already planned to put it in a different container when we get home because it’s our fault it was dripping.  My toddler grabbed it and smashed it into the floor when she got mad that there was no pierogie left
  • with a pocketful of dirty napkins, wipes and sample cups
  • deciding I’m better off being barefoot forever than I am dealing with my kid trying to destroy a sock display
  • putting a larger item back before checking out because I (luckily) remembered that I forgot to take the double stroller out of my trunk before we left so it won’t fit
  • with one kid screaming in the cart because she doesn’t like that I am on the other side of the counter paying while my other kid is saying “Hi!” and high-fiving the cashier’s hand over and over again
  • picturing all of the germs from handling dirty, gross money being transferred from the cashier’s hand to my son’s hand
  • hoping he doesn’t put his hand in his mouth before I can wash it
  • who can’t find my receipt 10 seconds after it was handed to me so we can get our cart inspected on the way out
  • who appreciates the gesture of drawing a happy face on the receipt instead of a check mark to entertain the kids but can’t help but feel that happy face is mocking me at the same time
  • in the parking lot bent over the backseat with a crocheted blanket wrapped around her neck like a boa because if it is out of toddler’s sight, she will throw a fit but I can’t get her car seat buckled with her holding onto it
  • changing her baby’s poopy diaper in the hatchback trunk of the car because as complicated as it is, it’s a million times easier than dealing with public washroom chaos
  • Stalking the parking lot at Toys ‘R’ Us waiting for someone to abandon a shopping cart because I did remember to take the double stroller out of the trunk and now I need it but don’t have it and don’t want to leave my kids in the car to go get one from inside the store
  • putting her toddler on a kid leash (You know, one of those animals you wear as a backpack with a long tail to hold onto to prevent running away) and pushing her baby in a shopping cart with the other hand because the cart only has one seat
  • bravely (naively) taking 2 kids under the age of 2 into Toys ‘R’ Us because the toy we wanted to get our son for his first birthday is sold out online everywhere
  • successfully finding the last toy on the shelf and putting it in the cart while stopping her toddler from climbing on a shelf trying to reach a Dora doll that she has at home
  • trying to explain to a frantic 23 month old that the doll in question is not hers
  • trying to find her Air Miles card in the stack of cards not yet reorganized after being dumped all over Costco
  • with black sharpie down her shirt from spinning around in the middle of printing her kids’ names on one of those donation cards to stop her toddler from knocking down the entire display of chocolate bars behind her
  • panicking after realizing that her toddler has wrapped her “leash” around her neck while I was turned away, trying to recall the PIN number for her credit card
  • realizing she has become the parent she swore she wouldn’t become: the kind that leashes their children (I totally get it now, fellow leashers!)
  • Locking her kids in the car then running across the parking lot like a crazy person to return the cart to the store as quickly as humanly possible
  • running into the house, grabbing Eco-bags then loading up her trunk full of Costco goodies in the driveway because she forgot to bring the bags with her (again)
  • sitting in the car in her driveway writing this post because both babies fell asleep on the way home and I haven’t yet decided how to handle it
  • wishing she had stopped at a drive-thru and grabbed a coffee if she is going to just be sitting in the car in the driveway for a while
  • realizing it’s not even lunch time yet.  Yikes!
  • publishing this with all kinds of spelling and grammatical errors because it’s only fitting…. And we have to go inside NOW because I have to go pee!

andbabymakes3imean4 is one mom’s adventures while tsp dancing on the brink of insanity with 2 babies, 11 months apart.  If you liked this post, please follow my blog or like my page on Facebook to be the first to know of future posts!  Thanks for reading! Xo

One thought on “Running Errands: In Case You’re Looking for Me Today, I’m the One…

  1. zkmommy says:

    The large amount of these that I relate to is terrifying, yet oddly comforting to know someone else out there lives as chaotically as I do when it comes to taking kids on errands.

    Like

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