Mother’s Day 2014. I had to work all day and called Hubby who had watched the kids all day to discuss dinner. Yes, it is almost June and I am only just now, writing about Mother’s Day. Given that I am approximately 6 weeks behind on life, this isn’t overly alarming. (Our son turned 1 April 24. Our daughter turned 2 May 21st…birthday party date….TBD. Ugh) So when I mentioned dinner, Hubby immediately offered to heat up his leftover crockpot concoction (fail) from the night before. It was pretty ironic considering he does not ever eat leftovers under any circumstances. Even leftover steak and roast beef are immediately rejected. (I don’t know why I decide the beef leftovers are the most valuable.) He will refuse to eat a dinner he ate the day before and will voluntarily eat a peanut butter sandwich instead. It’s weird. And therefore makes it ironic that when he makes a meal, he immediately thinks it is worthwhile to eat again today. I didn’t think I could stomach that concoction again. Hubby called it the “Man Version of Chicken Cacciatore” which meant he has paid half-attention to my chicken cacciatore over the years and with limited knowledge and ingredients, threw chicken, a jar of sauce, carrots and celery into the crockpot…forever. It wasn’t horrible but it was Mother’s Day…I had already worked all day and didn’t want to eat that. I suggested we go out to eat.
I commute just under an hour to/from work so asked Hubby if he could pack a bag and change diapers so we could pack up and leave once I arrived at home. I chose sushi as our dinner and Hubby made a reservation to make sure we had a table with 2 high chairs reserved. When I got home, I quickly changed and then changed the kids into clothes that actually matched and off we went.
When we got to the restaurant we were seated next to a young couple at a table for two. I was nervous. I don’t like bringing the circus to anyone’s romantic dates. I crossed my fingers and hoped the kids would act civil. Our server came over and offered to bring the kids training chopsticks. Fun! Sure! Sounds great! FYI: Training chopsticks are normal chopsticks that are jacked up and tied together with an elastic band with the balled up paper wrapper squished in between to create resistance. While I am sure this works well for older kids, our 1 and 2 year old are lucky that we confiscated their chopsticks before they lost an eye…which obviously caused them to scream like hyenas.
We ordered our first round of sushi and put bibs on the babes. As we waited for our food, a very pregnant woman and her boyfriend/husband were seated at the table next to us. Miss Preggo took one glance at our double-highchaired table and was not impressed. I get it. You wanted to have a nice, peaceful dinner but were seated next to people who brought their babies out to dinner. I tried to make eye contact with her and offer a smile and a “Happy soon-to-be-Mother’s Day!” but she did not reciprocate at all. Just after they were seated, our server came over with two small bouquets of carnations and offered one to me and one to Miss Preggo and said “Happy Mother’s Day!” How thoughtful! Just as I laid the bouquet on the table, Miss M picked it up and waved it around like a wand. I tried to teach her to say “Flower” but she just squealed and waved the bouquet until the carnations broke at the stem and fell to the ground. As I scooped them off the floor, I couldn’t help but notice that Miss Preggo’s bouquet was in perfect form. This is your last year of untouched flowers, amigo.
Our food started to arrive. Hubby and I played an Olympic-level game of “Don’t put the hot plate in front of the babies!” as we grabbed each and every plate from baby reach. I looked at the table for silverware to cut the food up into bite-sized pieces. We were at a sushi restaurant. Chopsticks were all we had. Damn. We started ripping sushi apart with our hands and placing bits and pieces in front of each baby. Both kids were so excited and shoveled the sushi into their mouths. Just as we got both kids situated with enough food to start eating ourselves, a server came over. Through broken English and expressive gestures, he pointed to the food for the kids and spread his hands out as he said “for babies?” I interpreted his limited words and actions as him offering some sort of place mat or plastic plate for the babies so I said “Yes.” (We didn’t give either kid the porcelain plates that were offered so they wouldn’t be thrown on the floor and smashed.) As the server walked away, Hubby turned to me and said “What did he ask?” I dion’t know. I think he has some kind of kids’ plates or placemat. The server quickly returned with a big bowl and a hot cloth. He promptly swept all of the food bits we had worked so hard to rip apart into bite-sized pieces into the bowl and then wiped down the table with the cloth. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was offering to clean up what he thought was a mess…but it was actually our kids’ dinners. Both babes started bawling and rightfully so…some random man had just come and taken their dinners away!
As we calmed the kids down and quickly ripped the beans out of edamame while prepping more sushi and delicious tempura vegetables, the man sitting at the table next to us looked up to see Mr. C waving at him and saying “Hi!” over and over again. Hubby and I playfully told Mr. C to eat his dinner. This kind man tried to encourage Mr. C to eat. He even picked up a piece of Mr. C’s edamame and ate it to make him laugh. While it was alarming to have a stranger eat off of my son’s plate, it was also heartwarming to see a perfect stranger engaged enough to not only be accepting of the little ones beside him but actually help us out and play with him. That being said, it could have been a first date and I give the guy credit because his dinner date was extremely impressed with his interaction with our little dude. Well played.
Once the kids were set up (again) and eating, Hubby and I started scarfing down food like crazy, not knowing how much time we had left before someone freaked out. While we did, Miss Preggo next to us repeatedly made loud comments (so I could hear) about how ridiculous it was to take babies to a restaurant and how they are ruining her dinner. At this point, our kids had been extremely well behaved. The only time they had freaked out was when the server cleared their dinner mid-meal, but who wouldn’t react like that in the same situation? I tried my best to ignore her and enjoy our Mother’s Day dinner with the two little munchkins who were the reason I was celebrating Mother’s Day as a mother.
As we waited for our next round of food to arrive, Miss M started to get fussy and rambunctious. She actually managed to take her sun dress off and throw it on the floor beside us while still strapped into the highchair. The nice couple on one side of us laughed. Miss Preggo on the other side, scowled. Miss M wasn’t going to settle down. I had left my phone in the car so decided to go and get it so I could entertain her by playing an episode of Dora the Explorer (the only television series I own through itunes.) To let her have a stretch, I took her out to the car with me. She smiled and said “Hi!” to every table we passed while Hubby and Mr. C continued to mow down on delicious Japanese food at the table. We went to the car and grabbed my phone then returned to our table.
With absolutely no warning, Miss M threw up as I lifted her up to put her back into her high chair. Without even looking, I could tell Miss Preggo was gagging. I grabbed napkins from the table to try to catch it but it just kept coming. I lifted Miss M’s dress to catch the puke in it. It was a weird thing to do but it was a spontaneous reaction and my only way to not deal with puke all over the floor. I could hear Miss Preggo coughing as her boyfriend/husband laughed and said “It’s actually not that bad. Relax.” She continued to gag. Hubby got up to find paper towels. I watched him go to the washroom as I stood, catching Miss M’s puke with Mr. C sitting in the high chair next to her. Hubby was gone for what seemed like forever. Miss M was still puking. I needed to get her out of the restaurant. I looked up to see Hubby walking aimlessly trying to get the attention of the staff. We didn’t have time for these slow-motion shananigans. I needed to get Miss M out of there…but couldn’t carry her out and leave Mr. C on his own in the highchair. I yelled across for Hubby to come back. I told him I was taking Miss M to the car. He said he would pay the bill and then meet us at the car with Mr. C. As he said that he realized he had forgotten his wallet. I told him to grab mine from the diaper bag as I unbuckled Miss M. I scooped her up, grabbed the diaper bag, contemplated apologizing to Miss Preggo but didn’t see it being well-received so decided to just run out of the door with Miss M in tow.
Miss M puked all over me on our way to the car. I opened the passenger door, sat her down and took off her puked-on dress. I opened the diaper bag to grab the baby wipes to “sponge-bathe” her. When I did, I noticed my wallet sitting there. This meant that I was covered in puke in the parking lot with a naked baby girl while Hubby was in the restaurant with a dinner bill, no wallet and a baby boy. Oh man… I tried to call him. He didn’t answer. In the meantime, Miss M seemed to be feeling much better and crawled all over the car wearing nothing but her diaper and dress shoes. I tried to wipe the puke off of my own dress and contemplating stripping down myself because the puke smelled so bad.
As I wiped the puke off of myself, Hubby came running out, handed me Mr. C and took my debit card so he could run back in to pay before they thought he had “dined and dashed.” I buckled both kids into their carseats and put Miss M’s puke-covered dress in the trunk.
Hubby came walking out laughing. He said that the entire time he was paying the bill and cleaning up the table, Miss Preggo had dramatically been waving her hands in front of her face with her shirt lifted over her nose. Poor thing. Seriously. Half because it truly is awful to have someone puke next to you while you eat dinner, nevermind when you are pregnant. The other half because this is only the beginning of baby puke-filled adventures for her. I really am sorry. We brought puke and baby drama to her last mother’s day before she has baby puke and baby drama of her own. Sorry Miss Preggo. :(0
We drove home with the windows down so I wouldn’t puke from the stench of my own puke-covered dress while discussing what might have made Miss M puke. She wasn’t sick and was feeling fine now. Who knows… Happy Mother’s Day!
andbabymakes3imean4 is one mom’s adventures while tap dancing on the brink of insanity with 2 bambinos, 11 months apart. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to my blog or like my page on facebook to be the first to know of future posts. Thanks for reading! xo