Today it is officially winter. I am shocked. I really am. I was really hoping that winter wouldn’t come this year but it did and it’s -15 with wind chill and those chilly winds are extremely strong. They are so strong that as I was taking 2.5 year old Miss M out of her carseat tonight, a gust of wind caught the back door and slammed it full force into the back of my head. I saw stars and bit my lower lip and grunted to avoid dropping an “F bomb” in my daughter’s face. It hurt like hell. I bundled her up in her poncho and ran her into the house where Hubby intercepted and grabbed her from my arms so I could run back for Baby #2. Hubby came home sick today. This is extremely unusual for him. He is never sick. He is never sick to the point that it annoys me a little bit. I try to eat healthy, take vitamins, drink tons of water, use as many natural products as possible, diffuse essential oils, etc. He eats crap, never drinks water, smokes yet is never sick and never gains weight in spite of his regular late night snack sessions at “the trough” which is what I have renamed our pantry. Anyway, I ran back out to get 18 month old Mr. C from the car as I thought about how yummy it smelled inside.
Hubby made dinner tonight. I had sent him a recipe to reference so he could throw the ingredients in the crockpot for me this morning since I had to be at work for an early meeting. Crockpot season is here. Yay! Crockpots are an essential tool for any working mama… but I am not into crockpot casseroles and stews in the summer so this is one advantage to the cold weather arriving. Hubby called me at work for instructions on how to set the crockpot timer but other than that, no questions were asked. The chicken casserole recipe called for rice but I asked him to add egg noodles instead. Our kids like rice a lot but they are both currently obsessed with eating with forks and rice is tricky. They will not touch their meals without a fork these days. I didn’t realize how complex the whole “fork” thing was until we introduced them to our kiddos. It is very confusing to teach them to use a fork but then serve them a piece of pizza, a grilled cheese sandwich or a banana and try to explain to them that they don’t have to use a fork and to use their hands. They look at us like we are savage animals…and then proceed to hold a piece of pizza on a fork and gnaw around the edges of it. So yes, egg noodles will be easier for fork-stabbing than rice. When I called Hubby on the way home to see how he was feeling, he reminded me that dinner would be ready when we got home. What a treat!
I ran outside to grab Mr. C from the car. My head was pounding from the beating it took from the car door. I could hear my heart thumping inside of my head. Naturally, I opened the back door to find 18 month old Mr. C had taken his hat, poncho, boots and socks off on the 7 minute drive home. I quickly redressed him while holding the door open with my hip this time to avoid another head injury and then ran inside holding him tight against my
body to shield him from the wind.
When I walked into the kitchen, Hubby was slicing up chicken in toddler-friendly chunks so it could cool down. It smelled divine. I ran down to the freezer to grab him a bag of homemade spicy chicken noodle soup that I had made a few weeks ago and frozen for occasions like today. The perfect remedy for the “man cold.” Smart right? Not really. While I had portioned off the soup in freezer bags, I had not made sure the bags were dry before I put them in a grocery bag and dropped them into the freezer. The bags of soup came out in one giant iceberg of soup. It was impossible to separate a single bag from the rest. I lugged the whole block of bagged soup upstairs with me as I enthusiastically shouted “On your mark…Get Set! Go!” which is my new found trick for getting Miss M and Mr. C to stop what they are doing (which in this case was pressing every button on the washer and dryer) and run towards me. It has been working like a charm.
By this time, the chicken was cool and my head was about to explode. I threw the soup iceberg in the sink under hot water, told Hubby to go lie down until it is ready and strapped the kiddos into their booster seats for dinner. They both immediately start chanting “Fork! Fork!” I handed them each a fork. I put the cooled chicken on their plates and opened the crockpot to serve the egg noodles and veggies. I don’t see them. I spoon around the pot before asking Hubby “Did you not put any pasta or egg noodles in the crockpot?” No, I didn’t think there was enough liquid so I left it out. Okay… wonderful. This would have been good to know before the kids were starving and ready to eat. I quickly scan the kitchen trying to think of a quick side. Avocados! Like a good friend, avocados are always there. Avocados are nature’s fast food. They are so quick and easy and extremely healthy. Both of our kids love them. I quickly peeled them, plated them next to the chicken and added some cucumber slices with hummus for dipping. Dinner complete! Crisis averted! Hubby adds from the living room “Sorry! I was going to add the pasta and peas later but then I really wasn’t feeling good.” Yes, the man cold is a serious thing. This is completely understandable.
I grabbed the peas from the freezer and put them on the back of my head to numb the pain from my car door collision. Then I got up and started banging my soup iceberg against the floor. The kids thought it was hilarious. Finally one bag was freed. I peeled the plastic off of the cube of soup and threw it in a pot on the stove. Hubby told me not to worry about the soup because he doesn’t really have much of an appetite anyway… after I got it separated and into the soup pot. When the kids were finished their dinner, they had a couple of clementines for dessert. Mr. C happily added his orange slices to his cup of milk then drank the milk and ate the milk-soaked oranges. Gross. He did it with a smile on his face so maybe he is on to something! Miss M asked for a cookie. I opened the pantry and scanned it looking for the Oreos. The kids just tried oreos for the first time on Sunday and loved them so I thought it would be a nice treat. I told Miss M I was looking for cookies. She repeatedly said “Rye Dare! Rye Dare!” (Right there!) to try to help me. Hubby made his way into the kitchen and asked what I was looking for. “The Oreos!” They’re gone. “What do you mean they’re gone? We just bought them 2 days ago!” I’m telling you, they are gone! I don’ t know what happened! Wow. Here I was feeling sorry for him for being so sick that he didn’t have an appetite. I wouldn’t have an appetite either if I had eaten an entire box of oreos in one afternoon. Arrowroots it is, kids!
As I poured a bath for the kids, Hubby had to leave for a meeting. Again, I said “On your mark! Get set! Go!” and both kids followed me up the stairs to the bathroom. I stripped them down to their diapers as we waited for the bath tub to fill. “Stuck! Stuck!” Miss M yelled while pulling on her diaper and grunting because I hadn’t taken it off yet. I picked up Mr. C with one arm and pulled his diaper off with the other. Then I made a terrible mistake. I plopped him down on my lap without checking for the poop factor. I hate when that happens. He just poop-stamped my dress pants! I jumped up, carrying Mr. C under one arm and holding Miss M’s hand with the other arm to guide her out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me to keep them out while the bathtub was filling with water. We just installed a childproofing gadget on the bathroom door which prevents them from getting into the bathroom unsupervised. Of course, there are baby wipes in every room of the house except on the change table. I found a package of wipes under Mr. C’s crib (right where I must have left them) and tried to wipe the poop off of my pants. This was unsuccessful so I just took my pants off and carried on in my underwear. Time is of the essence here! I turned around with baby wipes in hand to see that Mr. C was in Miss M’s room and had butt-stamped her floor and her bed. Delightful. I scooped him up, wiped his bum and her floor then ran to the bathroom remembering that the bathtub was still running. The door was locked. Crap. One of the kids must have locked the door before I pulled it shut.
I hopped the baby gate at the top of the stairs like a race horse while praying that I had shut the blinds downstairs since I was in my underwear galavanting down the stairs. I grabbed a butter knife from the kitchen drawer then raced back upstairs where Miss M was still grunting and yelling “Stuck!” as she pulled on her diaper, trying to get it off. I jimmied the lock and got the door open just in time before the tub overflowed. Phewwwf.
I threw the kids in the tub and lathered them up then ran out to the linen closet to grab towels. As I did, they turned the bath tub into a wave pool, splashing and giggling. It was heartwarming to see. They were having the time of their lives kicking and splashing and throwing tidal waves over the side of the bath tub. I don’t really mind the splashing. Some weeks, the overflow of bathtub water is the only “wash” my bathroom floor sees. Time escapes me constantly and my to-do list only ever gets longer. I sat down on the toilet next to the tub and watched them splash. Then I start ed to think about my still pounding head. Note to Self: Put ice on head after kids are in bed. As Miss M and Mr. C start to wind down, I start singing the “Clean Up” song to get them to put all of their bath toys away as I turn to load their toothbrushes up with toothpaste. In the corner of my eye, I notice Mr. C stand up in the tub. As I turn to tell him to sit down, I realize that he is actually peeing into the bath water at the exact same time as Miss M has her face in the water, drinking it. Bleck! No words come to my throbbing head so I just silently scoop both of them out of the tub at the same time and decide it’s best to just pretend that didn’t happen.
I dressed them, brushed their teeth and hair, changed Miss M’s bedding, read their bedtime stories, sang our bedtime stories and cuddled them. Life is always exciting and unpredictable. Once they were tucked into bed and sound asleep (which even though i started at 7pm, didn’t happen until almost 10pm for my little night owl, Miss M) I decided I needed ice…for my head and for a very stiff drink. Cheers to Tuesday!
andbabymakes3imean4 is one mom’s adventures while tap-dancing on the brink of insanity with 2 babies, 11 months apart. To be the first to know of future posts, please subscribe to my blog or like my page on facebook. Thanks for reading! xo